Literary Fortunes

Here: Click it!

and here is my favorite:
Diplomacy is saying 'Nice doggy'
until you can find a rock.
Lucky # 1,9,20,29,40,43
Will Rogers

Management Training, Anyone?

(Following Lillian's format)

I've been looking around for work for the past few weeks. Now that I'm done (I found a nice meaty project where I can walk to the main office, only have to cross the bridge for meetings, and will work primarily at home) I wanted to share five unbelievable things that people said to me as I sat in their guest chairs while they scribbled notes on my resume.

5. Oh, I never meet my deadlines. I'm always totally scrambling at the last minute. (Way to set an example, team lead!)

4. Our team never completes anything on time. Seems like they always move the target right at the end and we're tied up until Thanksgiving. (Your upper management rules!)

3. This is the worst building I've ever worked in. We all say that the feng shui here is totally messed up. Look at it, it's all pointy and slanty and bad. (I can hardly wait to spend 8 hours a day here!)

2. I like to do spot checks on my employee's work so I can see what they're up to. Also, I like to keep them close where I can see them. (It's nice that we're all grown-up professionals that trust each other to do their jobs, isn't it?)

And the #1 interview busting remark:

1. I can't promise I won't micromanage you. (Wow. I'm speechless!)

As an aside, I understand that you might not have a lot of time to read my resume, and also, that many resumes do not tell you what that person has done. Mine, however, is quite specific on what I've done and what I know how to do. If you point to my resume and ask "Tell me about what you did at XYZ Co.", that is an excellent indicator that you have not read my resume. In which case, why are you interviewing me?

Also, can anyone please elaborate on the thinking behind those "Tell me about a time..." and "How do you respond to..." and "Give me three words that describe..." questions. Because during my entire working life, I have never, ever, ever been asked to do any of those things.

I didn't used to hate looking for work.

AFA tells me this...

Just got this from the virulant American Family Association. It's a list of liberal agenda items - I've added some context to their list:

Here is the agenda the liberals want to achieve. They want Senators to filibuster any judicial nominee who will not support this agenda.

1. Approval of homosexual marriage (or just not killing or wounding or discriminating against homosexuals)
2. Legalizing euthanasia (or just letting folks determine whether or not they want to be kept alive with medical intervention)
3. Banning prayer in school (or being non-demoninational about it, recognize other religions, etc.)
4. Banning the public display of the Ten Commandments (or adding displays for other religions in the U.S.)
5. Banning the Pledge of Allegiancen (I didn't sign up for this...)
6. Basing our laws on the laws of other nations (didn't sign up for this)
7. Maintaining abortion on demand (yup, got me there)
8. Forcing the Boy Scouts and similar organizations (including churches) to place homosexuals in positions of leadership (dear lord)
9. Complete protection for all kinds of pornography (um...)
10. Creating hate crimes laws to punish those who believe homosexuality is wrong (if they kill people)
11. Denigrating Christianity to a secondary status (that there is a perspective issue)
12. Making secularism the only legitimate religion (that's an ox, you moron)

Anybody got anything to add?

I only want to see you praying in the papal reign/Papal reign, papal reign

I don't mean to sneer at catholicism or the pontiff but rather at the media coverage.

"Is the mood any different in St. Peter's Square?" Yeah, everybody was sad but now they're doing The Wave.

"We're going to continue looking at the pope, particularly his relationship to the Catholic church." As opposed to what, his relationship to General Motors?

I realize that these folks are having to make-do on an ad-lib basis...they are going live and they have to fill that air with something, anything. But they babble on and on and people get annoyed and then journalists wonder, yet again "why aren't we appreciated???"

In more important news, go Illinois!