Thursday, March 31, 2005

Wedding Ring Enscription

Many of you know that I'm going to be getting married in the next two months. Amy and I are on our way to marital bliss beginning May 15th. Despite my best efforts to shower her with compliments - she still expects me to come up with an enscription for our wedding rings. She is, of course, expecting the declaration to be heartfelt immediately sending warm fuzzies to even the biggest and baddest alpha males. My problem is that I would prefer to keep it light - make it a joke.

Last night, I told her that if she kept harrassing me about the enscription then I am going to put, "Together Forever, Like Run DMC." That's when I decided - I need a list of great enscriptions and she can choose the one she wants... There are plenty of inside jokes that we share - the next one isn't going to need much explanation, except to say that we discuss bowel movements already, "It's Not Easy Being Your Green Dookie Ball." And of course, there are the enscriptions that have a little story... Whenever my father used to see adults acting like complete asses, he used to say, "See that, they weren't beaten enough as a child." This should give you a good idea to my father's parenting techniques. My enscription would read, "You Weren't Beaten Enough As A Child, But I'm Going to Correct The Oversight." Fake sentimentality is always humorous - start off strong and then deliver the punchline, "You Complete Me, But I Am Perfectly Satisfied With My Incompletion."

Geez, the pressure on me to be the perfect fiancee and husband might be too much. How can I live up to this Gone With The Wind standard of romantic. Flowers and hallmark cards for every occasion, an unlimited source of unique compliments for each new day, ughhhhh... Who wants perfection when you can be happy with less? Wow, that sounds like another enscription...

6 comments:

ALS said...

How 'bout: "You're the Milli to my Vanilli", but in French?

Sinical said...

NICE, I'll always be a fan of the music references...

Constance said...

Since Amy's the tallest Chinese person I've ever met, I think you should have the enscription quoting Confucius, like this one: "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." Just make sure it's engraved in Chinese.

Here are some other good ones:

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world. (You could switch this one around, saying something like "To the world, you are but one person, but to me, you are the world."

Sorry, no music references.

Matty said...

well, let's start with the obvious. Make sure whatever is it you spell it correctly. Isn't it spelled "inscription?"

Secondly, short and sweet would be my choice, plus you have to fit it inside that little itty bitty ring.

How about "Put it back on."

Lillian said...

I'm thinking, if you really want to show how committed you are to each other, you're going to want to attach chains to the rings, that hook up to nostril piercings...

Amy is tall?

Jason B said...

Nice Matt.

I can't think about inscriptions, I'm still working on the toast. We inscribed "14k" on ours, which I was told is some kind of obscure Catholic reference to the end times. Longevity and eternal love maybe?